Cause you deserve much more. #sleepingwithSirens #kellinQuin (Taken with Instagram)
Time for an actual blog post. If you have absolutely no interest in what’s been going on in my life or my feelings in general, skip over this.
Things have been going amazing recently besides one thing. Let’s start with the good first. I’ve met so many amazing people on YouTube by being a Let’s Player. I’m actually starting to growreallyclose to a few of them.
Kristen is such a sweet, caring, amazing girl. She’s the person I’ve grown closest to out of what I’d like to call my little YouTube clique. I’ve found I can trust her easily and it’s sorta strange in a way. We haven’t known each other too long but we know we can trust each other and not get judged. It’s a great feeling to have someone like that to talk to. Especially since she’s female. There are just some things that girls are better at supporting than guys. She’s starting to become like family to me. We talk daily about nothing and everything. Our conversations never disappoint. That girl has already had an impact on my life. It’d suck to lose her, although I never plan on that happening. We’ve become good friends in a short amount of time. Our friendship can only get stronger. <3
Another person I met over YouTube is Rodri. Where do I start with him. I’ve told him many things about me and my life that very few people know. I know I can trust him completely. He’s becoming one of my closest guy friends. We have so much in common it’s scary. In a sense we’re like each other’s counterparts. Not in a soul-mate type of way, but in a friendship way. I’m like a female version of him, he’s like a male version of me. At least in my opinion. We’ve both been through some rough patches in our life but it only makes us stronger and drives us to do better. He’ll go far and achieve all of his dreams and aspirations. He’s too determined not to. Slowly but surely he’s opening up to me and I know he’s worried about it in some way, shape or form. I’m sure his trust has been broken before by someone or by multiple people. He acts like he doesn’t want to tell me things sometimes but eventually does. And I’m glad. He needs to realize that I won’t judge him by his past nor will I tell others about his life. Slowly but surely we’re building that trust bridge. <3
Marchello. This guy is simply amazing. Like an older brother to me. Especially since he’s so much older than me. Which was a total shocker haha. His voice sounds so young and lively. I consider him one of my close friends as well. His rapping talents and charismatic voice will take him far. I know it. I can’t wait to meet him. It’s my goal to meet all of these amazing people before I die. They all mean so much to me. They’re like my YouTube family haha. He’s helped me out a lot with this whole YouTube deal and was watching my videos when I only had about 30 subscribers. He’s been there and supporting me from the beginning. I appreciate that so much. I have to tell him that sometime. I think he needs to hear it.
Geoff! This guy right here is an amazing commentator that I’m glad I got the chance of meeting. He’s doing so well without a bunch of help from others. He’s really gonna make it to the top. I hope he remembers me when he gets there haha. We’re slowly becoming closer and closer and I’m totally okay with it. I don’t trust easy, but these people seem so genuine and sincere. I just wanna give Geoff the biggest hug ever when I meet him. I know his life isn’t all rainbows and lollipops and he deals with it so well. Such a strong guy. This guy is just awesome. One of my favorite commentators out there and the biggest sweetheart you’ll ever meet. <3
Hayden, Hayden, Hayden. I love this kid to death. If it wasn’t for him, I may not have met the others I’ve talked about. We get along so well. We’re so goofy with each other. I love that. Our closeness leads people to believe we’re dating or that we have a “thing.” It gets old sometimes, but hey. That’s what happens when a guy and a girl are close. They automatically like each other and wanna bone. People can be so stupid sometimes haha. He’s a pretty close friend of mine although he doesn’t know nearly as much about me as some people. I think it’s better that way though. I’m rather selective with the people I let know my “secrets.” I hate when people feel sorry for me, so most of the time I act like nothing is wrong. And also because I don’t want to burden them with my problems. He’s a sweet kid though. I can’t wait to meet him someday and just nerd out playing Pokemon hardcore. <3
Seamus. I’ll probably tear up when writing about him since he’s made the biggest impact on my life out of all of the others. Not really in my YouTube “clique,” but he’s one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. We get along pretty well. The reason I only say pretty well is because of my shyness. I don’t really speak my mind like he does because I’m afraid to. Which is the one thing he dislikes about me. I’m working on it though. He knows the most about me out of everyone I’ve talked about in this post. He doesn’t judge me for it either. I absolutely love him for that. He never says he’s sorry when I tell him problems but he’s supportive. Which is perfect. He means so much to me. More than one person should mean to be honest. This is actually where things haven’t been going so amazing. I’d say it’s pretty obvious I like this guy.A lot. Problem is he lives too far away from me and I’m underage. So it’s not going to work right now. The only chance I have is after I graduate and figure out where I’m going to college and what I’m going to do with my life. It’s a terrible realization I’ve had to come to terms with. It’s not easy but there’s nothing I can do right now. I can’t speed up time nor could I seriously ask him to move closer to me. Just wouldn’t feel right. Anyways, he means a lot to me and has been there for many months now. I know I can talk with him when things get bad cause he’ll be there. Although I choose not to anymore. It feels as though we’re drifting farther apart from each other and honestly, it tears me apart a little inside knowing that. We don’t talk nearly as much and I feel like I’m an annoyance to him most days. So I just don’t try. We have a strange relationship with each other to say the least. Regardless, he’s still an amazing person. He’s truly one of a kind. I’ve never met anyone like him before.
I have no idea if they feel the same way towards me or not, but oh well.
I just sit back and think sometimes; if I had never started playing videos games, I would’ve never met such amazing people.
This was really old. When I first started out with YouTube. Have fun reading how I felt about the people I was closest to at that time :)
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